Who is The Artistic Type?

It all started with a psych eval…

After going through months of stomach pain, meltdowns, and panic attacks, my psychologist has a hypothesis. He believed my temperament aligns with others who have strong artistic impulses. Our desires and urges to create are far stronger than anything else, which can make it difficult to prioritize anything else.

Having bipolar disorder, social anxiety, and mixed personality disorder doesn’t help either.

“You’re the artistic type,” he said. “See, I couldn’t pick up a paintbrush to save my life.”

Yeah, which is probably why you can maintain a well-paying job… is what I would’ve said if I was in a better mood.

Whether or not his hypothesis is correct, and regardless of what I’ve been diagnosed with, he does have a point. Throughout my life, I would have a love / hate relationship with being an actress and directing staged performances. My bipolar symptoms made it difficult to prioritize projects I loved. I used to act and perform comedy improv onstage and gradually, as my symptoms worsened, I would find myself in front of audiences less. And less. Then one day I couldn’t do it anymore, and wouldn’t get on a stage for years. When this happened, I turned to writing and art as a way to express myself.

I love being an artist, but trying to make a living out of it was a pain in the ass. I couldn’t go at the pace that felt right for me, and being able to infuse my own personal touch was becoming less and less of a commodity. I’m unwilling to mainstream my art or my stories to fit other people’s expectations, at least not so often that I have rely on that practice to survive.

My philosophy is that the art has already happened. When the artist is making the art, deep in the hours-long dance (stumble) of figuring shit out, making things messy, covering up mistakes, leaving mistakes exposed to show something weird and accidental… but fun. That’s the art. You can’t put a price on it. It’s not performative. It’s utterly selfish. It allows you to be yourself. Art welcomes all of you to whatever you’re using (canvas, computer, etc.).

The artwork itself – a painting, sculpture, multimedia piece, poem, novel, comic book, etc. – is the outcome. It’s an invitation for the viewer / reader / listener to also form its own relationship with the art, to be as hypnotized by it as the artist was. It needn’t be too serious or pretentious. But it should feel sincere, and special. It’s like you’ve shared a secret or allowed people to feel differently in a space where that feels both safe and vulnerable.

All of this to say that in the world where social media reigns supreme and “if you’re not sharing your art, are you really an artist (eye roll)?” mentality, The Artistic Type exists a “space”, not physical (yet), where we can support ourselves and the art we make. And we do this while also handling other stuff like paying bills, remembering to take your meds, and trying to make enough money to exist.

I’m starting an Austin-based arts community where it’s just us. And I want to build a community now that’s open to you wherever you are.

If you sound like me, a woman trying to be hot and sexy and amazing while managing the world’s shit as well as your personal trauma, well then let. me. know! My mission is to lift up BIPOC and queer women voices, but if The Artistic Type speaks to you, then don’t hesitate to reach out to us.